by Bronwyn Hensley
“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Several weeks ago I was given an incredible opportunity to attend an A29 conference with Jeff in Miami. Of course, as a woman, so many organizational thoughts run through my mind in order to even be ready to take a trip. I had a list for every direction I needed to complete before we left and every event our girls needed to be at while we were gone. I had a list for our dog and house sitter. I had lists on what to pack and list to accomplish before I left.
What I soon discovered about this trip was that I had forgotten to put on my list how to relax, how to put down the constant lists and to just listen quietly to the Lord. It can be so easy for me to run in so many directions, that I forget the Lord tugging and pulling on my heart, rest in me.
“Come to me, all who labor and re heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gently and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30
It is so easy to feel like our burdens are so heavy. Don’t misunderstand me: some burdens in women’s lives are extremely heavy. And some burdens seem unending. But so often I carry around unnecessary burdens that I put upon myself- burdens that aren’t given me by the Lord, but my own desires to do the work on my own.
Our A29 district allowed us to take a personality exam before we left and we had a day conference on personalities and marriages. CrossPoint Ministries sat down us and discussed our marriages, our personalities and the personalities surrounding us in our congregations. What I discovered about myself, after many years was eye opening. I realized a huge part of my life has been spent feeling like I’m not doing enough…
I’m not in the Word enough…I’m not journaling enough…I’m not praying enough… I’m not homeschooling enough…I’m not cleaning enough….I’m not cooking enough….I’m not spending enough quality time with my girls….I’m not making enough financial contributions to our family….. I’m not effective or motivated enough… Do you get my point? As I walked up to one of the counselors with tears, he said to me, “You need to come up with a prayer that you may say a hundred times a day.. Something that says ‘It is all enough! What you have done at this moment or this day has been ENOUGH.’”
I will admit to you now that since I have been home I’m still working on getting my prayer just “good enough”. I know the daily burdens and struggles of my life can seem difficult, but the Lord tells me to rest, and that His grace is sufficient for me everyday. He says that in my weakness He will be strong. Each morning when I wake up I try to remind myself, before the busyness of the day, His promises for my life even in my weakest moments. I am praying that God will lead me to find my fulfillment there, in Him, not in my own efforts or position in life. As great as it is to be a mom and wife, there is peace knowing I am His and He is mine.